GriswaldTerrastone

On December 17th, 2021 at 9:09 P.M, my mother died of Covid-19.

And that's not even the worst of what happened.

Hello, everyone. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

Well, it turns out that November of 2021 was a memorable and very bad experience.

In early November I ended up with Covid-19. Possibly the Omicron (calling Optimus Prime?) variant. Apparently.

My thoughts throughout November were badly muddled, it was both weird and abnormal. Is senility anything like it?

Folks, since I do not have any insurance I spent that entire time battling the man-made disease (thanks for nothing, science) at home under quarantine. I lost over twenty pounds, slept in the bathroom at times in front of the toilet, but still had to take care of things around here. It was weird since sleep was chaotic and at times delusional, such as seemingly walking in truck stops hundreds of miles away with green-lit refrigerators or through rectangular late autumn grey fields with vaguely-remembered houses that had been abandoned for decades. Dry heaving, the only nutrition concentrated juices we had and those dropped off by good Mennonite neighbors, day after day, weak, admittedly one thing that kept me going was anger at where this pandemic came from: In this already disease-filled world some educated idiots just had to create a new one that has done devastating damage. It was so UNNECESSARY. None of this had to happen.

One weird terrifying half-dream while laying on the bathroom floor was a lab with test tubes, the lab Covid-19 came from...but one of the test tubes, waiting, there, just waiting to be released, had a label indicating it contained a superstrain of the Bubonic Plague- the Black Death that wiped out between 1/3 to 1/2 of Europe's population centuries ago. Is there a test tube or petri dish with such a disease that will make Covid-19 look like the common cold? No doubt. It was WEIRD, sometimes impossible to distinguish between reality and dream.

Experiences loosely based on things from decades ago, the 1980's and 1970's, sometimes the 1990's, like yet unlike. Then waking up, trying to keep down oatmeal and protein shakes.

Watching videos on the computer and DVD player- "Star Wars" seemed to have UGLY people, and with others I could not hear certain sounds I knew were there. The strange pounding when all was silent. Luckily THAT has all returned to normal!

Finally one day I woke up soaked in sweat- the worst of it had passed, I had prevailed. This was nothing like back in 1997 when a family friend had brought the flu to our house; I had to use a chair to breathe and had to literally crawl up stairs- but after a few hours it was over. No, this was different. In its way far more terrifying.

The relative I take care of had to be brought to the hospital. Due to her weakened condition (such as an infection swelling her leg that NOBODY has been able to deal with, not the medical center nor the THREE HOSPITALS she went to) vaccinations are not advisable and for several days she was in the hospital. Upon her return I had to take care of her, having already cleaned EVERYTHING with Pine-Sol and Lysol (this place is cleaner than a hospital), including the toilets. I don't know what happened, but her condition was bad in all ways. Naturally I received calls from the state making sure I was quarantined- as if I wanted to spread this miserable disease- luckily I always make sure we are well-stocked due to the climate around here. Obviously I have been cleared which is why this has been posted. I made a point of staying home the whole time, luckily I could. The Sheltie Merlin was and is a big emotional help, and Mennonite neighbors have been a huge help, I am thankful to them.

The following Tuesday after that relative's return from the hospital- something terrible happened, you do NOT ever want to walk into what I walked into that morning. I had to call 911. It was an event that will prove devastating.

That relative at last report- I cannot even visit her due to Covid restrictions- had a collapsed lung on top of everything else.

By the time this is all over, in spite of she having insurance, the bank accounts may be depleted and I may even have to sell the house to cover the expenses. All of this means that in 2022 I may end up homeless, and at this time I have no income. The basement threatens to flood and for the first time in a quarter of a century I was unable to clear the drain. So professionals have to be called, and that will cost several hundred dollars. When it rains it pours and hopefully it is just a blockage. Have to have faith that things will work out, that is vital.

November of 2021 is a strange mass of ugly reality and dream, of things real and only loosely based on memories from decades ago, of truck stops and places long gone, of nightmarish fights against a disease that didn't seem to want to kill me but to not let go. Thought processes were muddled and abnormal the entire month. Since I only go to a few places where or how I contracted this disease will remain a mystery to my dying day. Possibly it came in the mail, especially with junk mail. Why it struck after two years is another mystery- unlike mid or later 2020 by now many people have been vaccinated and like me many endured and prevailed against it (there are the "breakthrough" cases), so by late 2021 there should have been much more "herd immunity." Assuming the vaccinations are worth something- shouldn't there be far less spiking and much greater safety? And if variants are to blame then despite what those moronic science-worshiping commercials say it will NEVER end because there will ALWAYS be another variant. I wish I was back in the twentieth century because this century has been a total disaster. I will never forget what I walked into that horrid Tuesday morning.

So that's my Covid-19 experience- a weird half-remembered mess of sickness and unpleasantness, of faith and rage pulling me through, of what sometimes bordered on delusion and things from long ago sad because they are gone. Not to mention physical suffering. But what my relative has to endure is far, far worse.

To you scientists responsible for this pandemic- if there was any justice in this world you would be tried and executed for crimes against humanity. You have already murdered millions worldwide. You have caused endless suffering and economic devastation. Life may never return to normal because of you. Governments have used this to grab even more power for themselves and NO THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A TEMPORARY GOVERNMENT POWER GRAB. You made a world experiencing a dark age even worse. The utter cruelty of what you have done is beyond words, and I wonder about what happened to the poor lab animals used. And thinking about that relative...you deserve no mercy whatsoever.

But I am still one of the lucky ones. It was misery and mental chaos, true, but I did recover, even at my age, this Generation X'er proved too stubborn. To all of those out there suffering from this needless evil creation, you are in my thoughts and may you also completely recover. Please, if you suspect you may have this nasty disease take the obvious steps to help yourself and protect others. To employers: Make sure their jobs will be there after they recover. If you can help someone- such as dropping off stuff on the porch or making deliveries for a church-based charity- please do.

Good luck to all of you out there.